Love in Lisichansk - Hugs, Kisses and Tears

NOTE: If you did not yet read my last blog entry entitled "Sara Smiles" about the pizza party we did for the kids of the orphanage, please read that one first which is now below this entry. I happened to post two blogs in one day which forced the other one to below this one. Sorry! I am trying to catch up!!

Today is the day we meet Sara's infamous grandmother! During our December through January hosting of Sara, she spoke of her grandmother often and was radiant and misty-eyed when she did. I think her grandmother was and continues to be her rock. She is the woman who was like a mother to Sara in the physical and emotional absence of her own mother. In fact, Sara's ONLY hesitations about coming to America were #1 grandmother and #2 her friends. And, as a side note, I have to say that Sara has amazing friends whom we will miss very, very, very much. They, along with Larisa, have been her family since she entered the orphanage at 7 years old.

Before Sergei took us to pick Sara up, we had a late breakfast at 10:00 am and a little later went to the AM Store (pronounced as "am," not "a.m." and one of my favorite places to go because it feels very much like my second home, Walmart - ha!) because Steve had a great idea for a gift for Sara and because we understood from Sergei that it is customary to take some kind of gift, most often food like a cake, when you visit someone's home. Pursuing Steve's great idea, we first went to the electronics store (which is HIGH security let me tell you - two security men in dark suits with walkie talkies and looking very stern as they look every entering customer up and down). We bought Sara a digital camera so she can take keepsake photos of her grandmother and her friends to put in empty frames I have already placed in her room back home. We then went to the bakery in the grocery area and bought grandmother an eye-catching cake as well. Then it was off to the orphanage to pick up Sara and Yanna who is the orphanage's attorney since a representative of the orphanage was required to accompany us on this out-of-town trip. Yanna is a smiling, elegant blonde beauty and I enjoyed helping her practice her basic English vocabulary during the trip to Lisichansk with all my questions about her life.

Before I describe our amazing visit with grandmother, I wanted to share with you an interesting fact about Ukraine that relates to the grandmother. When the Soviet Union ruled Ukraine, they wanted to provide this relatively poor country with housing for everyone. They then built scores of what we would describe as apartment buildings all throughout the country, including Severodonetsk and Lisichansk. So, when you drive through Ukraine, you see these buildings everywhere with one after another after another. This is where the vast majority of Ukrainians live and these buildings have now become quite old and are mostly in disrepair with little exterior maintenance including the "yard," if you can call it that. In fact, the hotel we are staying at in Severodonetsk, Hotel Mir, is the nicest hotel in the town but our view from our window is a series of these buildings. (See photo of the building right across the street from our room.) I am sure this photo doesn't accurately capture the condition of these buildings but you get the idea - and there are no elevators, just as we have no elevators at our hotel for our 6 giant suitcases! Just know that this would be your home if you lived in Ukraine.

On our drive through Lisichansk, we again saw these buildings and, sure enough, grandmother lived in one of them. She was standing outside in the drizzle near the street wearing her coat and scarf and Sara ran out of the car to her arms. Her son, Sara's uncle who is also named Sergei, was there as well. We walked to the back of the building and walked up the stairs to her second floor apartment (which this 75-year-old woman has to descend and climb each time she leaves). Upon entering the apartment, I felt like I was at my Great-Aunt Lillian's house in Charleston with old hutches and cabinets topped with lace and decorated with items that, in America, would probably be quite valuable as antiques. Grandmother invited us in and asked us to hang our coats and take off our shoes - good thing I wore my best socks - just kidding! Grandmother hugged us all but gave extra hugs to Sara and special attention to Summer all while speaking Russian words we couldn't understand but hugs and touches that spoke volumes. She also acknowledged all of our red hair. After looking around the quaint living room that was like a living history, we began taking pictures of Sara with her relatives, with all of us, etc. (See photo of Sara and her grandmother and photo of Sara, grandmother, Uncle Sergei and us three.)

Then Grandmother took out old photos for Sara and us to see. They included adorable pictures of Sara as a child and also included photos of Sara's sister and her child (Sara is an aunt!) and one of her two brothers. My understanding from Sara is that she rarely sees her sister and never sees her brothers because they both took a wrong turn in life. Then Grandmother announced that she was serving us lunch and, before you knew it, a table was placed in the center of the living room with enough chairs for us all. (See Sara setting the table.) The table was set and we were all seated and enjoyed boiled & seasoned potatoes (yummy), what was described to me as vegetable caviar (I have no idea what it was but I ate it so as not to insult Grandmother), bread and homemade pickles (which did not taste like American pickles but I dreamed that they did so I could get them down so as not to insult Grandmother), hot tea (which I didn't drink because we were advised NOT to drink the water in Ukraine) and our AM store cake (delicious). Lunch was served around 1:30 pm and we had just had a huge breakfast at 10:00 am so I think all 3 of us did the best we could to eat the food placed in front of us. BUT - THIS is why you don't eat a big breakfast before you go to Grandma's house!! Most of us probably have or have had grandmas that insist on feeding you when you come over - whether you are hungry or not! We were NOT hungry - but we ate!

During lunch, Grandmother shared a lot about Sara's early years before going to the orphanage. Our facilitator/translator Sergei had to translate it all and it had to have been difficult for him to do because she was blatantly honest about Sara's mother, her choices in life, etc. To preserve Sara's privacy, I will not get into the details but will simply say that, at 7 years old, Sara ASKED to be taken to the orphanage! I cannot imagine how difficult this was for Sara to listen to as her Grandmother shared this with us but I think her Grandmother wanted us to know about Sara's background and experiences since she will soon be our daughter. Sara was brought to tears and left the room for a short time. I already love Sara but my respect and compassion for her grew exponentially during this lunch. And tremendous kudos to Steve! He asked Grandmother and Uncle Sergei for their blessings for us to bring Sara into our family and we indeed receive their blessings. But...we fully understand that we cannot fully comprehend how difficult this must be for them to agree to have their obviously revered granddaughter and niece taken to America. I know that they know this is best for her and that they are putting themselves aside for what is in her best interest. I am so in awe of their sacrificial love for Sara!!! Before we donned our coats and shoes, Sara gave her grandmother a recent photo of herself. Grandmother asked that she place it on top of her hutch. (See photo of Sara with her long hair flowing - beautiful!) We all walked down the stairs to the outside and took more photos of the emotional goodbye. It was a special visit that I will never forget!!

Sergei drove us back to the orphanage and we went in with Sara for our afternoon visit. We had a GREAT time playing Uno with Sara and some of her closest friends whom we have already grown to love, Christina (light blue jacket), Ola (black jacket) and Olga (dark blue shirt). (FYI, Ola and Olga were also hosted in America when we hosted Sara and are also being adopted by host families. Olga will be in Atlanta and Ola will be in Myrtle Beach - yea!!) We played cards, laughed and took LOTS of photos! (See the silly & fun girl photos and the daughter-to-be/proud parent photos.)

And my teaser for this blog won't be as mysterious as usual but will be a joy to read when you get it because someone in this family had a "TOP FIVE Greatest Experiences Ever" moment. So, my question is this, "How do you have the BEST birthday ever?!?!?!?!?"...read the next blog for the rest of the amazing story...

Sunny